Skulduggery Pleasant's Short Story Collection
by ArcaneWritesStuff
Summary: A collection of funny and action packed moments, private moments and inside thoughts. Some chapters take you throughout characters lives, their thoughts and their feelings, along with other things. Definitely give it a shot! All rights go to Derek Landy.
1. Prologue

Filled with wonderful action, crack up jokes, and hilarious plots, these short stories will leave you smiling, frowning, crying or rolling on the ground, tears streaming out of your eyes. Some in here will have themes. Others will not. Some will be holiday based, others will not. Some will be ideas I got from the books, others will not. It really depends on what I feel like. I am going to include stories from before Skul met Val, during the war, perhaps (Possibly) before. I am going to try not to include to much of Skuls life, because I feel like its his and his alone. Just saying. I will also be doing some pairing! Slight Fletchery, Ghanith, others. (BUT NO VALDUGGERY! Sorry. :}) Some chapters will have spoilers, so watch for a warning on the top of the page. I hope you enjoy! The next one will be out soon. . All writing in here is mine, unless stated otherwise. There may be some chapters in which the characters interact with you, and so for absolute satisfaction, I suggest you do what they say. However, I will not pay any bills if you hurt yourself because you took a suggestion to may be writing competitions as well, so keep an eye out. This is the first (Maybe) interactive story-book on Fanfiction. Now go enjoy! 


	2. Christmas!

_**I know that I have uploaded this in Curse of the Not So Magical Piano, but since its a short story its going in here. If you've read it, go ahead to the next chapter. If not, enjoy!**_

* * *

Valkyrie stared at the front of her house, mouth hanging open slightly. Her mother stood next to her holding Alice and her father stood in front of them, looking rather proud of himself.

"Oh, Desmond," Melissa said, "What did you _d_o?"

"I put up Christmas lights," He said proudly, "All by myself."

"I see that. Where did you get all of these?"

"I borrowed them."

"From who?"

"That doesn't matter." Desmond tuned on his heel and walked closer to the glowing mess of bright strings he called lights and grabbed a plug in. "You haven't see all of it yet!"

"How exactly did he manage to do this quiet enough for us to sleep through this?" Valkyrie asked her mother.

Melissa paused. "I have no idea."

They stood there and watched Desmond struggle with the plug in until he did a little 'aha!' and shoved it into the slot. Valkyrie fully expected him to electrocute himself, but then changed her mind that it was more likely that the house catch fire before that.

The front, and most possibly the back wad entirely covered with bright white lights. Three giant Santa's, two snowmen and two reindeer started billowing up from the ground and a horrible high pitched rendition of 'Deck the Halls' stared playing from a small plastic merry-go-round.

Valkyries mouth fell open. As impossible as it seemed, her father had the Lampoons lights beat. Her mother blinked and let out a 'what did you do' sigh and a very defeated whimper. Desmond stood in the middle of it all, illuminated by the lights and looking rather deranged with his large cheesy grin plastered on his face.

"How do you like it?" He shouted over the noise, "To much?"

"Just... just a bit, dear."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"Turn it off, dad!" Valkyrie shouted at him and her mother looked at her thankfully.

Desmonds shoulders dropped and he stooped and unplugged the last set of lights leaving them once again with the bit that covered the front of the house. He walked closer. "You didn't like them?"

"We loved them," Valkyrie said.

"They were just a bit too... _loud." _Melissa finished.

"Oh," He turned to face the house once again. "So, should I take these down too?"

"Oh, no." Melissa said. "These are... better. Now, why don't we all go inside before our toes freeze off?"

They trooped back and Melissa put Alice in her high chair and began dinner while Desmond plopped on the couch and turned on the T.V. Valkyrie stood behind him with her elbows on the back and decided to watch a bit of news. She smiled to herself. What would happen if they knew what real danger they were in? That there were bigger things happening than a earthquake in wherever?

Valkyrie wondered what all of her other friends where doing. Her hand slipped into her pocket for her phone when she realized that it was sitting on the kitchen table.

"Steph? You have a phone call. Do you want me to pick up for you?"

Valkyries eyes widened. She couldn't pick up the phone. It was probably Skulduggery. "No, mum, I'm coming."

She moved into the kitchen and saw Melissa cooking and her phone lit up on the table. She grabbed it and pressed answer, placing it against her ear.

"Hello?"

Skulduggery Pleasants smooth voice came through from the other side. "Valkyrie. Are you free? There is-"

"I'm great, how are you?" Valkyrie said, cutting him off.

"I'm sorry," Skulduggery said, "What?"

"That's good. My dad just put up lights. They look _wonderful._"

"Valkyrie, what are you-?

"Nothing really," Valkyrie continued, making sure that her mother had stopped looking at her in that curious way, "I'm just standing here with my mum. Shes making dinner."

Skulduggery paused. "Ah. I see. Well then. Meet me at the pier. We have a case."

Valkyrie laughed. "Alright. Have a good night."

She hung up and her mother paused from the cooking. "Who was that?"

"Oh," Valkyrie said, leaning up against the table casually, "Just a friend wishing me happy holidays."

"Well that was nice."

"Yeah." Valkyrie stood up. "I'll be right back. I'm going up to my room for a second."

"Alright. Dinner will be ready in about five minutes."

Valkyrie climbed the stairs and touched her mirror. Her reflection climbed out and watched as she changed into her black clothes. "What do you think this is about?"

"I have no idea. Hopefully its worth my time because it is almost dinner and I'm _starving._"

"I'll save you something."

"Thanks." Valkyrie gave it a small grin and slipped out the window.

She used the air to slow her dissent and started a brisk jog. Her breath billowed out in front of her and she quickly approached the peir. Skulduggery was leaning against the Bentley, facade up. It was a brown haired, grey eyed man today. He nodded at her as she slowed.

"Your house looks rather festive."

Valkyrie winced. "You saw that?"

"Yes. You said that he had put them up so I figured _something _would be worth looking at."

"Yeah. Its the first year hes done them."

"I can tell."

They climbed into the car and Skulduggery started the engine and pulled out onto the road.

"So what is it now?"

"Just more mages wanting to destroy the holiday."

"Wait, what? They don't want to end life as we know it? They don't want to bring the Faceless Ones back? They want to destroy _Christmas?"_

"Well, they don't want to _destroy _Christmas, more like do something that will expose magic and crush the dreams of little children."

She stared at him. "What's going on?"

"I don't think you can even call them villains. More like curious lunatics."

"Skulduggery."

"I mean," He continued, "They had to be lunatics to try it in the first place, but-"

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie said sharply, cutting him off, "What do they want to do?"

Skulduggery hesitated. "They... want to catch Santa Claus."

Valkyrie stared at him. "You cant be serious."

"This time, I am."

"They do know Santa isn't real."

"No. They think he is as real as you and I. Like I said, lunatics."

"So... what are they going to do?"

"The leader in Dalian Blast, and he has a group of three people. Himself, Sparkling Joe, yes he picked that name, and Lilly White. You know how Santa delivers his presents at midnight? They plan on launching a giant, magical net into the sky over Dublin in hopes that Santa would plow straight into it. While this might have worked if Santa where real, its not now. Here lies our second problem. Not only do we have a giant sparkly flying net for everyone to see, there is a plane due for Dublin airport at twelve. If they hit it, that means a lot of dead mortals."

Valkyrie stared at him, expecting him to start laughing and say he was joking, but he just looked straight ahead.

"OK," She said, breaking the silence, "How are we going to stop this?"

"Hopefully we can talk sense into them without resulting in violence."

"And how likely is that?"

"Not very," He admitted.

xxx

They pulled over in front of an abandoned warehouse and got out. Valkyrie gathered the shadows around her fist as he picked the lock.  
The door swung open silently and Skulduggery crept through, pulling his gun out of its holster as he went.

The warehouse was big and quiet and empty. There was a small office to the right and besides the supports, there was nothing on the ground.

They moved slowly, Skulduggery taking one side and Valkyrie taking the other. It was cold in here, colder than outside and despite her protective clothing, she was beginning to shiver. She ran her eyes over the walls and up across the rafters. Nothing her whole search took her less than five minutes. She turned and was about to tell Skulduggery she didn't find anything when she was interrupted by a rather rude whistling.

Valkyrie turned and Skulduggery raised his gun as a little old lady hobbled through a side door. She was carrying a mop and bucket and ever so often would stop and scrub at something on the floor.

She kept moving in a straight line, and didn't lift her head. Valkyrie watched as she neared Skulduggery and finally bumped into him. She paused and looked up into his hollow eye sockets. They stood there for a few moments before a giant grin spread across her face.

"Visitor!" She cried and dropped the mop and bucket and threw her arms around Skulduggery.

Valkyrie snorted and tried not to burst out laughing as Skulduggerys head jerked back and he stumbled, the old lady holding his arms tight to his sides in a vise like hug. The little lady went with him as he stepped back and her weight made him lose his balance and the both fell backwards, the lady landing on top.

Valkyrie covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide and shoulders shaking.

The old lady raised her face from Skulduggerys shirt, the beaming smile still on her face. "I haven't had visitors since... since... oh fiddle sticks, I cant remember. But that doesn't matter because I have one now!"

She got to her feet and picked up her mop and bucket in one hand and held onto Skulduggerys arm with the other. She began rattling off something about flowers as she dragged him to the little door. His head turned to her as he passed and he opened his mouth to say something, but was given a hard yank and disappeared through the door.

Shoulders still shaking, she followed into a brightly lit office area decorated with every Christmas Icon imaginable. The lady planted Skulduggery on the couch and moved to the little stove in the corner, returning with a cup of steaming liquid which she shoved into his hands.

"Tea is very good for you. It builds strong bones. Or is that milk? I can never remember these days! Well, drink up before it gets cold."

"Ma'am," Skulduggery started, "I hate to be-"

But he was once again cut off by the lady. This time she grabbed the cup and shoved a black disk that looked like a cookie into his hands. In the process, she splashed the tea onto his shirt and left crumbs on his pants. She turned, still rattling on, then plopped herself down next to him.

"Have you ever been to Bulgaria? Its supposed to be very pretty. I heard they came out with something called a phone. Isn't it amazing? You must have had to come a long way to see me. Don't forget about your cookie!"

She still had that crazy smile on her face and her hand clasped Skulduggerys knee. Skulduggery himself was just sitting there in a sort of daze, not saying anything and looking at her in his way of surprise.

"Ma'am," He said, cutting her off, "I don't know you."

The lady twittered and nodded her head. "Ma'am. You called me Ma'am. Such a gentleman. My name is Margaret. You can call me Mardge. All my friends do. They're all dead. Old age. I'm almost a thousand myself. Birthday is next week."

And with that she began singing 'Happy Birthday to me' to the tune of 'We Wish you a Merry Christmas.'

"Uh, Mardge. Do you mind if I, Ahem, ask you some questions?" Skulduggery tried.

Mardge patted his leg. "Ask away, young man. Did you hear the goose this morning?"

"Ah, no I didn't. Hav-"

"Well then, you must be deaf. You were saying?"

"Has anyone besides us come through here?"

"Oh, yes. Three people. Did you know that humans are monkeys?"

Valkyrie grinned and stepped forward to try and get the conversation on track, because Skulduggery was doing such a great job. Marches head snapped around to her and her smile grew wider. "Another one!"

"Yes," Valkyrie said, "Did these people tell you were they were going?"

"Oh yes. They told me there plan. Wanting to capture Santa. I told them no. You do that, I said, you do that and you wont get any presents this year. Did they listen? No. And so I couldn't have them carry it through. They wanted Santa, they got Santa."

"Do you know where they went?"

"They didn't go anywhere! They're still here!"

Mardge stood and grabbed Skulduggerys arm against, dragging him to his feet and to a door in the back. "They're in here."

Valkyrie moved to the door and opened it. The first thing she was hit with was the color. Red _everywhere._ And she saw why. The whole room was filled with Santa's. Big ones, small ones, glass ones, you name it. And in the middle of the room was three people, bound and gagged.

"Well," Valkyrie said, "That was easy."

"Yes," Skulduggery said slowly, "It was."

She grinned and they turned and Skulduggery was greeted face to face with Mardge. She had a fully cooked turkey on a platter in her hands. "Wont you stay for dinner?"

Skulduggery started to shake his head and say no, but Valkyrie cut him off. "We'd _love _to."

Skulduggery sagged and Mardge beamed at him. "Dinner time!"

"Joy." Skulduggery muttered and Mardge dragged him off.

Valkyrie grinned. This will be fun.

* * *

_**And that's it! Thee is my sort of long Christmas short story! Hope you enjoyed! Dont forget to comment!**_

_**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!**_

_**-Arcane**_


	3. Important Interview

_**CAUTION SPOILERS! If you haven't read the fourth book up, especially the eighth one, DO NOT READ THIS! HEAVY SPOILERS! You have been warned... **_

* * *

**_An Interview with Skulduggery Pleasant_ **

**Question #1: What's it like, being dead?**

It's really not that bad, actually. Everyone seems to think that it's absolutely horrific, but it isn't. I never put on weight, which is a plus. Running became ridiculously easy due to the lack of muscles and lungs. I now find it funny to see other people out of breath. It makes me feel good about myself. I don't have to pay as much money, either. No food, no plumbing and very little electrical. Well, until Valkyrie came into the picture. I use the extra money to buy new suits, I run through them very fast. The no sleep thing helps too. All of the boring things can be done at night.

**Question #2: What about your five senses? Do you have all of those?**

I do, but not in the way you think. I can see in color and, obviously, hear. I don't have nerve endings, but I can feel pain and texture. Yes, I can smell things, but I don't have to inhale it. I actually have no choice if I want to smell it or not. Taste is hard to explain. You know that feeling in your mouth? The one after you smell something so strongly you can taste it? That's… kind of what it's like, and its the only way to "taste." Its not like I can stick a biscuit in my mouth and eat it. I can't think of another way, sorry.

**· Question #3: Your car. When, where and why did you get it?**

Ah bless, my Bentley. It was 1955; a year after the first and only line came out. Only 208 where every made, and it was a beautiful and powerful car, and getting very hard to find. On one of my free days, one was parked on the side of the road by a mortal. I managed to, ah; convince him to give it to me. There was no magic involved. And I definitely didn't use his name against him. Not even a little. Anyways, we traded and I was happy. I don't think he was though. I think he realized what he had done as I drove away. His face was funny. Why did I want that car in particular? Well, everyone has their dream cars, right?

**· Question #4: What exactly do you have against Christmas and why did you get Valkyrie a stick?**

I don't have anything against Christmas. I guess I never really got the point. I never had a religion, so no value there and we all know Santa isn't real. I didn't grow up in a Christmas-y household, either. Yes, we got a small tree, and had a few presents on Christmas morning, but that was it, really. The reason behind the stick was Valkyrie was bent on having a weapon, but she wasn't far enough in her training to be able to trust her with a loaded gun, so when she asked for a stick, I thought it could be a weapon and she couldn't accidentally kill someone with it. Even though it was a shock stick, too. I was also able to keep my line of bad presents alive.

·** Question #4: What was your reaction when you first learned about Darquesse and what do you think she is going to do when she is out full time?**

I was a little surprised, to be honest. I knew she was hiding something, but I didn't expect it to be that big. We had heard of her, of how powerful she was, but I never thought that it would be Valkyrie of all people. I was even more surprised when I found out she had gone to Nye before me. It was only realized later that because of her sealing her true name, we lost the only known way to stop Darquesse for sure. Your true name is power, you see. It is where all of our magic stems from. But if someone knew it, they could control every aspect about you. It's like your given name just to a greater scale. And our taken names don't protect it, either. And when she is for sure out full time, which I have a feeling is now, I think she will hang low for a while, growing stronger. After that, I have no idea.

**· Question #5: How do you plan on finding her? **

She will leave traces. Mysterious deaths and disappearances. Magical flares. And Tanith will most likely be with her, too, so we can track her appearances. I'll pretty much be doing what every good detective does, following the clues. Apart from all of that, I can't tell you anymore, in case she happens to find you and force out my plans. Sorry, but just taking precautions.

**· Question #6: Do you think Vile will have to be used? **

Right now, that is not even on my mind. I have no desire to ever use him. I don't think that, if I use his amour, I will ever be able to get back out. I know how Valkyrie feels. That level of power is addictive. It corrupts you, with that feeling of having the world at your complete and utter mercy, able to crush it into oblivion, if you so desired. But, as a downright last resort, I don't think even Vile will stand a chance against Darquesse.

**Question #7: What were you thinking and what did you feel when Ghastly was murdered? Explain those feelings.**

Quilt. And admiration and sadness and many other things. He had been such a good friend, up through the years. I met him on a pirate ship, back before the war. I was doing something and saw the ship and thought "Hey! Look at that!" and was an idiot and went to check it out. I was captured. And I met him. I saved his life, and he did mine. We became good friends after that. This was actually the first memory that came to mind. It was hard to keep myself calm, I can tell you that. But I thought of him, and did what he would have done, and made sure that every piece of clothing that was made by him that I was wearing looked impeccable.

** · Question #8: Erskine Ravel. Please discuss. **

_*There was a very long pause here, that consisted of him not moving at all. I thought he had fallen asleep. He finally moved and said*_ Oh yes. Him. That blasted traitor. We all thought he was a friend, we all thought he was on our side. Everyone thought that appointing him and Ghastly Elders would give us the advantage over Mist, but we only gave them the upper hand. And because of that trust, Anton Shudder and Ghastly are both dead, along with countless others. His plan was exquisite; I would be impressed if I didn't hate him so much, because of the patience and genius behind it. Darquesse already took care of his punishment, and I think twenty three hours a day of excruciating pain was very fitting.

**· Question #9: China Sorrows is Grand Mage. Do you think this is a good idea, knowing her as you do?**

That woman is anything but trustworthy. She backstabs, lies, cheats and will do anything to save her skin. At the same time, she has that tone of authority, knows how to keep things in order, and knows how to run things smoothly. She will listen and figure out the best way to run things. In other words, the complete opposite of me. And after Ravel, I doubt anyone else will go for the job. In six years, Grand Mage Meritorious and Elders Crow and Tome were murdered, Elder Bliss was killed by a Faceless One, Grand Mage Guild was a criminal, and now Elder Bespoke was murdered, and Elder Mist and Grand Mage Ravel were traitors. That job doesn't have much running for it. I do think China, however, will make a good Grand Mage. Question

**#10: We all thought you didn't like leather, and then we see you in that battle suit. What was with that?**

Ah yes, my amour. Back in the days of the war, we didn't have suits or people with as good a fashion sense as I do, so we wore things like that. Yes, it was leather. No, I would never wear that in public. It was only because it was more protective than a suit, and I wanted to see Valkyries reaction. Also, I didn't want to ruin my clothes. Or my hat. Definitely not my hat. If someone ruined my hat, I would… Actually, I don't know what I would do. It would be witty and fantastic, I can tell you that. For me, anyways, not him. His nose would probably be broken. I literally, right now, just realized that with Ghastly gone, how am I going to buy new suits? I can't go back to a regular tailor, I have standards. And my standards are high. I cannot be seen in a mediocre suit. That would be embarrassing.

**· Question #11: What did you feel about Valkyrie wanting to tell her family about the world of magic?**

I thought it was idiotic and rash and the very thing Valkyrie would do. She does things like that a lot. Like dumping Fletcher for that Vampire boy, or when she distracted the Baron, or when she jumped off a cliff. But it was her life and her family. With the danger that was looming ahead, I could see why she wanted to tell them, in case she died. But that would also mean ruining their life. Imagine that you didn't know about me, or the war, or magic at all. Imagine that you have read Harry Potter and all of the other amusing magical books out there, and you believe, no, you know that it is all false. Then imagine that one day, someone comes in and tells you that everything you know, everything you believe is wrong. You would break. You wouldn't know what was true and what was false. You would be grasping for something, something that would bring it all down to earth, something that shows you that there is still logic to what you had known, but you aren't able to find it. Your whole world would come crumbling down. That is what would happen to them. Sometimes it's worse knowing than not.

**· Question #12: How did you tell your family about it all, or did they not know? **

I didn't have to. I was born into a magical family, so I grew up around it. Actually, my whole family where Elementals. I had seven siblings, and only one older brother, so at least I wasn't the baby of the family. Although it put a lot of pressure on me after he left, being second eldest. So I guess I really don't know how it feels to have to go through that like Valkyrie was. I had it kind of easy, to be honest.

**· Question #13: How did the Dead Men really come together?**

During war time, you usually make bonds, stick in groups. It is safer to be with more people you trust, than by yourself. Ghastly and I where our own 'Group.' One day, we were out on the battle field, and a young man was being beaten, and we could help. So we saved his life, and we became friends. That was Larkin. The three of us had to stay in The Midnight Hotel, where we met Anton Shudder, and then we all became friends. We met Ravel and Vex in a bar. Dexter was drunk and making a fool of himself, and Ravel thought it was hilarious and Larkin decided to join in the fun, and so he and Ravel became friends. Dexter had no choice in the matter, really. We began to fight together, and I guess Meritorious saw something in us, and decided to make it a squad. And he added two more people. Saracen Rue and Hopeless. They sent us on the impossible missions, the suicide missions, because we were powerful enough to possibly make it out alive, and crazy enough to try. Because of this, we got our name. People called us dead men behind our backs, but when we came back time after time, the name stuck as our own little joke. When you share experiences like that, there is no way you can split. We were the longest lasting squad in the war.

**· Question #14: What did you think about the Dead Men's last stand on that wall?**

I knew we were over, Ghastly and Anton were dead, and Ravel was a traitor, so it was only Dexter, Rue and me left. We were finished the moment we saw the footage of Ghastlys murder. Three men didn't make a squad, and after that, none of use truly would trust each other with our lives, which was how we stayed alive for so long. Every good thing must come to an end, and that was ours.

**· Question #15: Where do you see yourself in fifty years?**

Hmm. Perhaps retired? Living a life of luxury in, I don't know, Florida, Australia or here? No, that would never happen. I would get bored ten minutes into it. No, I hope to be fighting crime next to Valkyrie, and saving the world because the world will be left to save. I will still be head Sanctuary detective, and have still be full of witty remarks because I never run out. I hope to be driving around in my shiny Bentley, throwing fireballs and wearing new suits. Speaking of, have you seen my hat? I swear I… Oh dear God, not again.

Skulduggery stood from his chair and strode to the door and disappeared from view. I sat there, dumbfounded, until his head came back around the corner. "Don't move," he said, "I have to save my hat. I will be right back." And then he was gone.

I sat quietly, organizing my papers, listening to the sounds coming from the room two doors down the hall. I frowned, hearing shouting, and looked up as Valkyrie Cain thundered by, followed by Skulduggery, yelling something about hats and fire.

Those two, I concluded, are one of a kind.

* * *

_**So for school, we had to do a book project, and I chose to interview Skulduggery on his views on the eighth book. My friend, Arrant, did an interview with Val for her book project on her views for the fifth book. Since we were doing the same series, we had the fabulous idea to write an ending that intertwines. So I am going to get her permission and post hers on here, and you can see what is going on with "Hats and fire." It is very funny. Please don't forget to comment, favorite and follow!**_

_** Peaces everyone! **_

_**-Arcane**_


	4. Musing

This has to do with book nine, everyone, so spoilers, duh.

* * *

Here are a few ideas on how they beat Darkquess  
Alright, lets start with my smaller and less likely theories. First, Skul gets a lucky shot and Darkquess doesn't kill him. He also doesn't need to use Vile and the reflection doesn't kill them.

Two, Darkquess gives up. (Pfft, never going to happen.)

Three, they figure a way to sperate them. Somehow.

And here is my main one.

Do you remember in the end of the eighth book the engineer says the only way to turn off the accelerator is it needs a soul, willingly given? I think that they are going to use Darkquess. I don't know how it would be willingly given, maybe she kills Skul and her parents and driven with greif Valkyrie takes over just long enough to give her soul. It would work. The accelerator would be shut off, and Darquess would be gone, but Valkyire would be dead, and knowing Derek, Skull and her parents will most likely be dead as well.

I really hope that's not the case.

On another note, in the next couple of weeks, we will be able to see the cover for _Armageddon-Out of here'_s cover, which is cool. I also thinks its awesome that that is the title. And in three weeks we will know the title to book nine.

... I...

...Uh...

...I have a really bad feeling. _Last Stand of Dead Me_n, gave me a bad feeling and that wasn't the last book. I have a horrible feeling that Derek is going to do something terrible like he did killing off Ghastly. (See theory four.)

I have one more theory for you. This is on Tanith. Introducing "_An Easy Peasy way to remove a remnant."_

Step one: Capture Tanith. (Yes, I know, not easy, but it can be done.)

Step two: Visit the banshee. (Remember? Book five?)

Step three: Put her in the carriage with the headless horseman. (She would then be dead and remnants cant hold onto dead things, so therefore it would die.)

Step four: Nye removes the now dead remnant from Tanith.

Step five: Skul is sent in after Tanith. (Nye is scared of Skul, so he wouldn't try anything funny, and Skul is already dead so it wouldn't affect him!)

Step six: Leave with a now normal Tanith.

Yay! Problem solved!

Think about it.

Alright! This concludes this chapter. Do you have a theory? Leave a comment explaining it and I will post it and give credit. I also like hearing what people think. Also tell me what you feel about book nine. Alright everyone, Armageddon Out a here!

(Did ya get it? ;})

-Arcane


	5. Death and Lies

Spoilers for book five.

* * *

The horse stood atop a hill overlooking the still lake and the dark castle. It pawed at the ground nervously and its rider tightened their grip on the reins. A harsh wind blew over the barren landscape, though not making a ripple across the eerie, ghostly surface of the lake.

The horse snorted and the rider flicked their wrist and they started off at a brusque gallop. The wind blew harder and a crack of lightning lit the sky above the castle and the rider urged the horse to go faster, bracing against the cold. They sped past the lake and made it to the large, oaken doors as the first drops of rain fell. The cloaked rider tied the horse to a post and approached the doors.

The knock was hard and purposeful and moments later they swung open and a grim faced butler stood inside. "You're late." He said, staring down his nose.

"It was unavoidable."

"Hmm. The master is ready. Follow me."

The butler didn't offer to take the long black cloak the rider wore, and they didn't say anything as the descended a spiraling staircase into the depths of the castle. They stopped at a large wrought iron door and the butler opened them, letting the rider walk through.

The room was large and spacious, and candles hung from brass brackets on the walls, casting flickering shadows across the room, twisting around in the corners. In the center stood a man. He was fairly tall, with hair as black as pitch and he stood holding his hand out to something the rider couldn't see.

"Your visitor is here." The butler announced.

"That is all, Jethrow."

The butler did a stiff bow. "As you wish, my lord." And Nefarian Serpine turned his glittering eyes upon the rider.

"Ms. Sorrows, I am pleased you could join us."

The rider pulled off the hood, revealing their own raven black hair. "I had my reasons." China said.

Serpine smiled. "I'm sure you did my dear. We all do sometimes. Would you like anything to eat? No? How about wine?"

A whimper came from behind him and his smile grew wider. "Our entertainment seems very eager to begin."

Serpine stood to the side and China's stomach dropped. There, lying in a bloody heap, was Skulduggery. He lay curled in a ball and as she watched Serpine extended a hand and Skulduggery let out a shreik so sudden and harsh, China almost jumped. But she didn't, even as the sinking feeling grew in her stomach.

"Master Serpine," She said politely, "That wine."

Serpine dropped his hand and Skulduggery went limp. "Of course. I will be right back."

The heavy door thudded shut and China finally let her shoulders drop. There was blood in pools around Skulduggery and she could see a pile of rags in the corner. His family. She shivered. She hadn't meant for this to happen.

A sound made her look over. Skulduggery had struggled to lean against the wall and his grey eyes where clouded over. The sound came again, stinger this time, and China understood. Marigold. _Marigold._

Skulduggerys wife. The one who lay in a ragged heap next to his cold child.

"Please," Skulduggery said, eyes fixed on China, "Marigold."

China frowned. Was he talking to her? "Please." He repeated.

China pulled up the hem of her dress and made her way to Skulduggery. Closer up she could see the deep grooves cut along Skulduggerys delicate skin, and something white stood out near his elbow and China prayed to God that it wasn't his bone. His fa e was sunken and his eyes were bloodshot, lacking the twinkle that usually inhabited them.

China swallowed. Serpine had done more than just break him phisically, but he had broken him mentally as well. And it was her fault. Because of her jealousy.

A hand clutched her arm and it took all of her resovle not to pull away. Skulduggerys hand was ice cold and covered in blood, but his grasp was gentle.

"Please," He whispered, "Keep Marigold safe."

China looked at him, in one of her first moments if speechlessness. He was delirious, his mind was broken so far that he had forgotten that his family lay dead to the side. He didn't even know it was her. Skulduggery wouldn't have been so kind with China Sorrows.

"Marigold." His voice was strained and all China could do was nod. His grip lessened even more and a content smile spread across his face. "Keep her safe. And happy."

He began rattling off different memories, the smile still on his face. This was China had always envied him for, that it was Marigold these memories where with, not her. She was always on the outside looking in at Skulduggery and his happy family.

She thought that by ridding Skulduggery he would turn to her, but she knew that Serpine wouldnt stop there and by ripping Skulduggerys family away, she ripped his life away. And now he was in Serpines clutches.

A sound came from the hall and China tore her arm from Skulduggerys grasp as the door opened and Serpine came through with two glasses of white wine. He looked between China and Skulduggery. "It looks like you took care of him for me."

China looked at her arm and quickly rubbed Skulduggerys blood off.  
"It passed the time."

Serpine smiled and held a glass out and China took it with delicate fingers. She wriggled to keep them under control. This room was beginning to feel like a prision, though she knew she was a guest. She sipped her wine and made conversation as Serpine played with his tricks on Skulduggery.

They finished their wine and it was time for China to leave and as she rode past the lake she was struck with the thought that it looked exactly like the entrance to Tartarus. It was calm and black as if it was waiting for something. Or someone. And China wondered if it was waiting for her.

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